God Speaks II

God speaks through Word, dreams and visions

One of my favorite aspects of my relationship with God is hearing Him speak to me, and with me. I began recognizing His voice through my (nearly) daily reading God's Word which began earnestly in 1998 when we moved to Ellijay, Georgia. I found the Calvary Satellite Network (CSN) on my car radio, began following along in my Bible as they exponentially taught word by word through books of the Bible. I added my own quiet time with God, methodically reading books of the Bible when I noticed I was understanding significant metanarratives, truths about God, His character, His love, and some pretty deep & heady thoughts that biblical scholars discuss. Those revelations would be confirmed through listening to the various preachers on CSN and Moody radio stations which brought me to a realization that I was in fact hearing God and He was teaching me through His Spirit who indwells me and all followers of Jesus.

Two pieces specifically note this experience. God-Speak in 2012. For God so Loved in 2013.

In fact, this entire online journal is written to capture everything God has shared with me so I can re-read and remember (zakar) my intimate times with God as He spoke, listened, shared, addressed and taught me. 

I love my time with God, absolutely love it. Answering a question during a recent Bible study, the question was, "What three words describe your relationship with God?" I started to answer then sat there and thought, "wouldn't it be cool to hear what God says about our relationship," and so I asked Him what three words describes our relationship. Sitting, waiting for His response and amazed it was an immediate response, these words came to mind, words I would not have picked: 1) intimate, 2) reflective, 3) cherishing.

As I wrote the three words down while crying, the reality set in, of the words God uses to describe spending time together. With me. Ordinary, nobody me.

So yes, God speaks, and He speaks to me personally. He speaks to all of His children personally. He speaks everything into being. He speaks corporately to the greater body of Christ - the church. He speaks to preachers, pastors and prophets. And He speaks intimately to His children, the followers of His Son Jesus. When Jesus returns as King of Kings and Lord God, He will speak truth which will be judgment to those who oppose Him. His words are power and life. And by the power and presence of His Holy Spirit with us, God speaks.

God also speaks to me in dreams and visions.

We all have dreams during the course of our lives. Dreams usually are manifestations of aspects of our lives where we exercise those things, while we sleep. Good, bad, horrifying, bizarre. Thankfully, most dreams are forgettable. 

Yet, I have had some dreams since childhood that are not forgettable. The dreams seem very real and express a message to me. At times, the dreams appear to be visions because I woke from sleep into the vision, or the vision came quickly while awake.

It was not until recently, that I met believers who have had similar dreams, sometimes identical in characters delivering or involved in the messages. The coincidences could not be ignored causing me to realize God was speaking to me through the dreams and visions. So, this entry is to catalog those unforgettable dreams, see if there is a common thread to the dreams, and so I will not forget what God said to me.

Dream/Vision 1 - Blue Angel 

Age 4 or 5 years old (1966 or 1967), Salem Hospital ICU for the croup, Salem, MA.

At the age of four or five years old, I developed the croup badly and was hospitalized in an intensive care room, of sorts. The room was an isolation room, gray, windowless except for the window in the gray metal door where the windowpane was reinforced with wire in the diamond pattern. It was a humidifier room that emitted steam from a grated vent in the upper right corner beside my bed. The room was dark but for a fluorescent light in the center of the ceiling. An IV was in my arm which was taped to a board so I wouldn't bend my arm and push the needle into my arm. (IV needles were metal then.) My parents were only allowed to visit during specific visiting hours and so, I was alone, cold, scared and homesick.

One night, a small child was at the end of my gray, metal hospital bed. He grasped the footboard of the bed staring and smiling at me. The child had a blue-white glow about him.

He didn't speak to me, he just smiled. For some reason, that smiling face made me think I would be OK and, my fear and homesickness left for that time.

The doctor, nurses and my parents thought some child in the hospital got out of bed to visit me. I began to think the same thing until later in life when glowing people visited again, and I remembered the child at the end of my hospital bed.

Dream 2 - Welcome to my house

Kindergarten or first grade (5 or 6 years old), Salem, MA

Why dreams have been confusing to me, and for a period of time, caused me to fear sleeping, was due to darkness invading my dreams on rare occasions. It was not until my late 30's when I began reading God's word daily, that I could sift through the memories of the dreams and categorize them as "From God" and "Not from God". Dreams and visions from God could be explained by scripture and historical facts, and recently through shared experiences with other believers. Dreams not from God came from fear, not trusting God, bringing dread and the sense to run away from the dread.

My parents, having been practicing Catholics, weren't equipped to address my good dreams let alone my bad dreams. It took a solid knowledge of scripture to not fear the dreams but embrace them. And over time, the Holy Spirit taught me how to rebuke the enemy, when he did manage to use dreams to scare me into thinking I'm beyond saving.

I was born in Salem, Massachusetts in 1962 and, one of our homes was within a planned development called Witchcraft Heights. My parents built that home and it abutted a hill where the Salem municipal water tower was located. It was also the hill claimed to be where some judgements from the Salem witch trials, took place. In fact, our road was called Gallows Hill Road, because some people accused of witch craft were hung in our backyard. (Others were crushed by boulders or drowned.) 

My family was well aware of Salem's witch history. My Aunt Theresa was a docent for the House of Seven Gables and occasionally the Salem Witch Museum. My parents worked the Hawthorne Hotel as newlyweds and, a couple of cousins befriended Lori Cabott, the self-proclaimed Salem Witch and her daughter Penny who followed in her mother's footsteps.

Because of Salem's history, it attracted the occult therefor, I was exposed to its darkness as a young child as it was all around in history, entertainment and commerce. 

This dream began as I walked past our Catholic church (St. James Church on Federal Street) near my elementary school. As we climbed the stairs and entered the church, it became a Victorian home with the large staircase off to the left of the foyer. 

A skinny figure came dancing down the stairs to greet us. As he approached, dread set in. He came to greet us saying, "Welcome to my home." I began to recognize the darkness, backing away and yelled to wake up, "Wake up, wake up, wake up!"

Fear of darkness set in and caused me to fear sleeping for nearly 20 years, as I didn't want to be trapped in that house. As I grew older, I feared being possessed by Satan because I thought I was unloved by God and a bad person for having these periodic dreams. At nearly age 63, I can count on one hand how many times the enemy invaded dreams but as a child, it was confusing and frightening.

To combat the bad dream and the darkness around me, I spent time in church. As a child in Massachusetts when Catholic churches left front doors unlocked, I would walk to the closest church, open the door, and take a seat to hear prayers being whispered if anyone was there, smell the incense, light a candle (even if I didn't put a coin in the coinbox), look at the stained glass windows, statues and artwork, and pray my little, child prayers. Occasionally a priest would sit with me curious a child was there. This practice continued through college years, as it was comforting.

Starting at the same age as this dream, I had the profound sense the world would end in my lifetime and began asking my parents when the world would end. This wasn't a topic of discussion or teaching in the Catholic church in the late 1960's or 70's. Sometimes I attended mass with my maternal, French speaking grandparents attending the French/Latin service. The Catholic church in the late 60's, was beginning to transition from Latin masses with lace head coverings for the ladies and girls, to English services. Shortly followed by the Jesus Movement bringing the charismatic church in the mid-1970's.  

My Mom's answer to the question about the world ending was Catholic inspired; three, non-Italian popes must die or be assassinated, then the world would end. Needless to say, that is a nonsense answer but seemed plausible as a child, especially with the assassinations of the Kennedy's and MLK Jr., along with the Vietnam war playing during the evening news, on our black & white TV.

With my end-of-world questions and sitting in church alone to be near God, my Mom began calling me Jesus Freak. Learning later, it was not meant to be a kind title. However, 30 years later, I began wearing that title proudly knowing it came from the Jesus Movement of late 60's/early 70's.

Dream/Vision 3 - Floating Face

1977, 9th grade in Cockeysville, MD

Sometime in the spring of 1977, while sharing a bedroom with my sister, I woke up to a face staring at me. We had bunkbeds and I slept in the top bunk. 

Following my Dad's job, my parents moved the family from Beverly, Massachusetts (Boston area) to Cockeysville, Maryland (Baltimore area). We went from a small, New England saltbox home, to a three-bedroom apartment. With five people in our family - two girls and a boy - my younger sister and I shared a room, once again.

On top of the bookcase beside our bunk beds, which was a pseudo end table for me, I kept a wallet sized print of the Head of Christ by Warner Sallman which I bought at the gift shop at our previous church, La Sallette Shrine. During the Jesus Movement which brought the charismatic movement to the Catholic Church, we attended La Sallette which was a former estate that became a monastery. Before moving, I attended youth group which was as close to a non-denominational church for a catholic church. (I loved it!)

The picture of Jesus stayed next to my bed from Massachusetts to Maryland to New Jersey to Florida to Connecticut and Ohio until my kids claimed it. (I think Sarah has it now.) Each night, I prayed my prayers looking at Jesus's face, kissed the portrait and aimed it at where I would sleep hoping it would ward off bad dreams and my wandering mind.

There on the top of my bunkbed in my shared room, I woke to a face staring at me. He was smiling at me as it hovered over me, watching me sleep. Needless to say, I stared back startled trying to determine if I was sleeping or not. It frightened me, thinking it was a ghost, and I waved at it to disappear.

I got out of bed, brushed my teeth, and headed to the kitchen to have a bowl of cereal before going for a morning run. As I stood there, someone grabbed my arms and me from behind as if to let me know he had my back but, at that moment coupled with the floating face, I was sure some demon was haunting me and broke down crying. My brother found me in the kitchen, having got up for early morning swim practice, crying over my bowl of Cheerios thinking I lost my mind.

It wasn't until years later when I read Zephaniah 3:17 that I realized God was with me and singing over me. What I saw and felt was an answer to my prayers. The Lord your God is with you, He is mighty to save. He will take great delight in you, He will quiet you with His love, He will rejoice over you with singing.   

Dream/Vision 4 - Glittering Light

1983, En route between Frostburg, MD and Indianapolis, IN in some Ohio rural town   

In March 1983, during my junior/senior year at then Frostburg State College, my parents and sister picked me up from school, to drive to Indianapolis, Indiana to watch the Men's DI NCAA Swimming & Diving Championships. My brother Pat was a freshman at the University of Florida, and he was swimming in his first college national championships of which Florida would win its first Men's title with Pat being one of the main point winners for the team score. 

The ride to Indy was not memorable as my parents were not in a good place at the time making the ride uncomfortable. My Dad was also a three-pack a day smoker and unable to smoke in the car because it made my sister and I motion sick. Dad was anxious and Mom was unsympathetic. Along the way, to avoid conversation and motion sickness, I fell deeply asleep in the back seat. 

As I slept, suddenly I was surrounded by golden, orange sparkling lights as if glitter was dumped into water and stirred. Yet, it was more than sparkling light. There was a presence there and it was comforting beyond description. I felt surrounded by love and welcomed. So much so that when we pulled over for gas, rest and a fast meal, I didn't want to wake up.

I began hearing voices demanding I wake up, and I asked the Light if I could stay with Him. 

I eventually woke up to see my family walking into a Hardees, in some small, rural town likely in Ohio. I had a strange sense that God had been with me and being with Him seemed far better than my current life.

At that time, life within my family was tense. It seemed my parents wanted little to do with my life, as they focused on my brother and his swimming. My sister was in high school, so she was in the midst of a difficult time between my parents. A college friend, Stephanie Roper, was murdered near her hometown, and in September that year, a freshman in my dorm, Joan Charlton, would be murdered on campus of which I was the senior Resident Assistant responsible for that dorm. I was combining my junior and senior year carrying more than 20 credits and did master's level classes. My college running ended due to injuries and health issues I'm only understanding now. I was dancing with the college ballet company, and I worked for the college communications office. My college boyfriend had graduated leaving me with doubts about him in my life. I was planning to graduate in December that year, so the mixed feeling that transition brings had set in. I didn't belong where I was yet, where I would belong was not evident. 

The sparkling light and presence of God gave me the feeling of being seen, loved, wanted. I wanted to stay there with Him. 

It seems, God started calling. Or perhaps, I finally noticed.

Dream/Vision 5 - That Blue Light Visited Again

Between July 1984 & July 1985, Jacksonville, FL

Having graduated from college in December 1983, called off the engagement to the college boyfriend, I moved with my family to Jacksonville, Florida in July 2024. Dad's job with Holme's Lumber brought us there. Mom found a job with Watson Realty. My poor sister was forced to do her senior year in Jacksonville instead of Cockeysville, MD. My brother was training for the 1984 Olympics with his college team. I began dating my future husband Chauncey and found a job as Assistant Art Director then Art Director with a local, weekly publication of shopping guides. A new life had begun.

I joined St. Joseph's catholic church in Mandarin and went by myself living up to that Jesus Freak title, while also going to Gainesville to party with my new boyfriend Chauncey, a former UF, All American swimmer. I had one foot in a new faith walk, one in working plus Chauncey's world. Whether I stayed in Mandarin or went to Gainesville, many times both worlds collided into drama and I hate drama.

My parents were trying to make their marriage work and, for the time I was home, it seemed to be working. Yet, for some reason, I was in their crosshairs. I'm certain it was the fact that I acted like a daughter when it suited me. I was a renter with a job at other times. And my college-style partying was still alive and kicking. Later in life I learned it was difficult to sleep at nights when my college-age or graduated-and-employed daughters were home and out on the town, thinking the worst would happen. That was probably where my parents were due to my actions.

Having sworn off serious boyfriends wanting to date freely then, realizing I loved Chauncey thinking he was "the one," caught me off guard. We dated on and off for that year, and he was planning to move with K-mart to West Palm Beach to start a management career in retail. I was ready to leave life with my parents and Chauncey's moving away leaving me behind scared me.

I'm not certain when I had the dream or vision; I think it was early spring 1985 as I was in that tension of pre-transition. 

Yet again, I was sharing a room with my sister, with five years between us, it was a collision of ages and responsibilities. As a senior in high school, Chris had no responsibilities and as a manager of a department I had some.

I was home sleeping with Chris on her side of the bed sleeping. Suddenly Jesus was in my dream where I began calling, "Jesus! Jesus! Jesus!" I think I wanted Him to solve my life's problems. He didn't answer and I woke up to my cover sheet glowing with blue-white light and fluffing as if I just returned to bed from a bathroom run, still saying, "Jesus! Jesus!". 

Jesus said nothing and honestly, I don't remember much more than seeing His afterglow (glory) as I woke up.

Dream/Vision 6 - Two Green Men

1995, married with children, Pataskala, OH

Posted within Truth & Gace; Part 1: Sticky Dreams; November 8, 2013

Prior to this dream, the dreams seemed to be God visiting to provide comfort with an implied message of, "I'm here. I see you. I welcome you. I am with you." However, this dream was a rebuke that shook me to my core and launched me on a growing relationship with God, learning to hear His voice, wanting to follow and be with Him. 

In 1985, I accepted Jesus only as Lord by responding to an alter call (at Trinity United Methodist Church in North Palm Beach).I knew I needed Jesus, felt the burning in my heart. Wrapped my feet around the chair to not respond to the alter call, only finding myself walking down the isle to say yes to believing Jesus is Lord. Ten years later in 1995 at an Easter cantata on Palm Sunday (at Pataskala United Methodist Church) realizing I was sinful and needed a savior, I publicly admitting Jesus as my savior. Over those 10 years from 1985 to 1995, my faith grew by de minimis measurements, and I didn't understand my salvation or that I needed saving. 

During the cantata, I was provided a small talking part. Along with other people (who could not sing or play an instrument), we were to each stand on cue from our seat within the congregation and say our little line. My line was about needing a savior and recognizing Jesus died for me. I think my line came after a song from Barabas about the innocent man taking his deserved punishment. We had two services, and I said my line for both services. Each time, what I said rung loudly in my ears and burned in my heart. I was overcome by emotions saying words through gasps and tears, to the horror of my elementary school-age daughters and husband. I knew I needed saving and received Jesus as savior that Palm Sunday, unknown to the congregation, except my ladies' circle. After the second service, the little ladies in my senior women's circle group gathered around me hugging me saying they had been praying for me, as I wept on their shoulders. 

Shortly, after that salvation moment, I began picking my way through learning God's Word through my Sunday school, Wednesday church gatherings, and senior women's circle group. I started reading the little Streams in the Dessert devotionals found in stores around the area. I was using my Oxford study Bible from my college course Old Testament as Literature where Catholics and Jewish students joined to read the Bible (Catholics) or read the Christian Bible (Jews).

Up until that time, I was afraid to read Revelation as it scared me to death. Remember, I had the feeling as a child I would see the end of time in my lifetime. Not being fluent in the Bible nor knowing anyone who was, Revelation seemed to be off limits. (Now I love Revelation.)

But God decided to wake me from my comfort and complacency. How I didn't wake Chauncey that night, I am unsure.

The dream starts in our Pataskala farmhouse with me walking from our bedroom/bathroom down the hallway towards the kitchen. There was a fierce lightning storm happening outside where the lightning flashed so quickly like a strobe light, and when you looked outside during this lightning, objects looked reverse like a film negative. This type of storm usually meant a tornado was about to strike.

I was looking for Chauncey to head with him and our girls to the basement to ride out the tornado and storm. I swung through our dining room, to our sun porch and out the door to the driveway finding Chauncey outside pulling items inside the garage for safety. 

I said to Chauncey, "Chaunce, stop! We need to get inside! There's no need to worry about that stuff!"

Just then, I realized it was calm outside. The lightning had stopped; the sky was clear and filled with stars. "Where was the storm," I thought. 

Suddenly, two bald men were in front of me. Their sudden appearance startled me. They appeared to be in their 30s or 40s, relatively good shape, and glowing with a green color.

They looked at me as if to look piercingly straight through me and said, "That's right! You don't need to worry about stuff. You need to worry about Him!" as they pointed to the star-filled, nighttime sky. 

Suddenly, I heard the stars singing praise. Thousands upon thousands of voices praising God, as the stars fell from the sky first forming a locust face then falling to fill the trees around our farmhouse like summer fireflies do. 

The two men were gone, yet thousands of cats were walking through our property, from the east walking due west; from the highway through our yard and out the backside of our property.

I shot up awake yelling, "I'm not ready! I'm not ready!" nearly hyperventilating knowing I was not ready to meet God.

Our farm in Pataskala, Ohio. The top is north, the right is east. Our home was behind the fish pond. The animal barn is at the top with the pole barn below it, and a small sheep shed in the middle between the house and barns. (The new owner has built another home behind the animal and pole barns.)

From this point onward, I began reading God's Word nearly daily first through devotionals, then on my own, following radio teaching pastors; through study plans and books, Sunday schools and disciple groups. It's been 30 years since that dream, and it led to a consistent time with God in His Word. My practice is to wake up early daily, make a pot of tea and spend time with God. Over the decades, I'm amazed at God continually speaking to me, as I learn more about Him, even in my routine, inexperience and inaptness. God speaks and He communes with the lowly.

When I crossover to heaven, I hope to meet those two beings and thank them for scaring me into following Jesus.

Because of this dream, I had to venture into Revelation and other prophetic books of the Bible, to understand what God's message was to me. From time to time, God reveals another aspect of that dream. For instance, in 2024, I learned about the cats. 

This is what I've learned to date.

• Chauncey's life verse is don't worry about what money buys; his verse beginning in 2005 is Matthew 6:25-34; it's become a rebuke to me since 2024.
• Two witnesses - Revelation 11:3
• Locusts are usually judgment to take away abundance or they are acceptable food; John the Baptizer ate locusts and wild honey (or figs) as his food in the wilderness
• Stars falling - Mark 13:25, Revelation 6:13
• Fear the One who can destroy both soul and body in hell - Matthew 10:28
• Cats - Following WWII, Britain mandated that cats be brought to Palestine to curtail the rat infestation; the cats reproduced rapidly and moved into Israel which now has a feral cat problem with 2 million+ stray cats

In 2020, we moved to Fernandina Beach, Florida where we own a fig tree. Scripture about fig trees and its fruit comes alive now. In Revelation 6:12-13, Jesus opens the 6th seal which unleashes a great earthquake on earth. The sun blackens, the moon looks like blood, and the stars fell to the earth as the fig tree sheds its winter fruit when shaken by a gale (hurricane).

My friend Denisha and her husband Bruce had the very same dream, the same night at the same time in 2024 and, guess who gave them their message - for Denisha it was two bald men; Bruce had one bald man. These angels are getting around. 

Dream/Vision 7 - What's in me

2013, empty nesters in Gainesville, FL

Posted within: Truth & Grace, Part 1: Sticky Dreams

At this time in my life, I was in the midst of a large land-use project with my work. The project was going well with great community support but, I felt the opposition growing. With my dreams at this point in my life, if a dark presence invaded, I confidently yelled that what was in me was stronger than what's in the world and whatever that darkness has to leave. Yet this dream reminded me Who I was relying on to protect me. It wasn't my perceived goodness. It wasn't my ability to quote scripture or my words. It was the Supreme God of all creation.

I found myself outside in the dark in an open area, with oak trees surrounding me – the size of scrub oaks. I was on an empty cul-de-sac and the road glistened from what must have been a recent rain. There was some light glowing on the cul-de-sac so I could see around the area well enough as if it were a streetlight. 

Some wicked looking cat passed by me. It had just appeared in front of me and ran almost charging at me. I just remember it being a black cat with skinny, pointy features and the size of an ordinary house cat. 

Then the cat charged back towards the cul-de-sac away from me, skidded to a stop while spinning around to face me. As it did, it changed in its appearance to a sleek, black, wild cat – fierce like a bobcat – only with a long, sharp tail, pointy ears and it doubled in size. It swished its tail fiercely as if to cut the air around it. That’s when I realized the situation I was in – I was dreaming, and Satan was there. 

As the wild cat prepared to charge me, it changed its appearance once again. This time it became a mangy lion – if you have ever seen the animated film “The Lion King,” the lion reminded me of Scar the evil lion who was thinner and cleverer than massive and powerful. Again, the lion grew in size when it went from wild cat to lion.

As the lion began to advance, I stood my ground and for some reason, I was not afraid. My feet were planted about shoulder width apart, my hands balled into fists with my arms straightened beside me. I leaned towards the charging lion, opened my mouth and began to scream at the lion only no words or screams came out. I was silent. I was screaming silently. 

I didn’t tell the lion that God was in me. Didn’t tell the lion, who I now recognized as Satan, to leave. 

Oddly, I was overconfident about my abilities facing Satan and I was just trying to yell “Shut up!” yet no words were coming out. 

During this standoff, I realized that I was relying more on my ability than on the truths of God. And yet, just as the lion was about to pounce on me, it skidded to an abrupt stop while trying to back-peddle leaning back to avoid me and shut its mouth tightly out of fear. 

That’s when I sensed something very big was standing right behind me. Something very powerful was behind me and that is who scared the lion shut. 

It was God and He was protecting me. He shut the mouth of that lion as I was unable. (Daniel 6:4-27)

What I learned through that dream was, no matter how confident I feel about my knowledge of scripture, my calling by God to be something, or the confidence in my faith that the Holy Spirit resides in me, it's God Himself who can, has and will defeat His enemy. He alone can control it. He can defeat  evil and end it. 

God has been reinforcing this lesson as I read Job over and over again. Honestly, it's one of my favorite books of the Bible as I am in awe of God, His word to create, His sovereignty and His comedy. And yet, that book frightens me to my core as Job was called to a very difficult calling. 

One, Job was called to prove to Satan that even Job, a man created out of dirt, is better than Satan who was God's first created being made of beautiful jewels. Satan who sees God, witnessed God creating all creation while leading the angelic beings in a chorus of praise music during creation, reflecting God's glory, rebelled against God wanting to be god over himself. Meanwhile Job, a man who has not seen God yet believes and worships God, has his entire life and health destroyed, does not stop believing God is God, and a God of justice.

Two, God tells Job that only He is sovereign and can control all creation. That Satan is powerful compared to mankind yet, God can control him like a pet on a leash and ultimately, God can defeat the enemy once and for all.

And so, I must remember that I cannot represent God indiscriminately, like Aaron's two older sons did in Leviticus. I am not to advance in front of God and say, "I got this!" charging into battle. I need to remain submitted to God, as a meeked horse, and only do what He says to do. Just as Jesus did while on earth. 

Dream/Vision 8 - Will you join me?

2014, empty nesters in Gainesville, FL

Posted within: Dying to Self

This dream is also one that was so vivid, so real, it rattles around in my mind regularly. It was a revelation and a calling. A revelation that I wanted to stay with Jesus in my comfort and not go where He called. And it was a calling to join Jesus in the most dangerous work, the work of saving others.

Recently, a friend who is similar in age to my daughters, shared a very similar dream with me. We were sharing how we hear from God and shared we each have heard God through dreams and visions. We each had the same dream, a decade-plus apart.

For me, my dream was at the onset of a large land-use project I was involved with through work. That project impacted my life in many ways from good to bad. After the work was done and Chauncey and I relocated to Fernandina, I thought the dream was about the calling into that project. I even referred to the dream in an entry "Dying to Self" linked above, as I processed through the experience. Now, I think the dream was more about calling me into a journey with Jesus that will end for me, when I crossover to Heaven.

At the time, we lived in Gainesville, Florida and this is the dream.

I was standing on the edge of a high cliff, looking down onto a consuming battle between two forces. Neither force was winning, as the dust clouds from each side of the battle were consuming one another. One side seemed to gain advantage, then the other side did. This visual repeated showing no clear winner.

Petrified of heights, not wanting to fall from the cliff into the battle, I cautiously moved back from the edge. I felt a presence beside me to my right, looked up to come face to face with Jesus.

By His Blood We are Healed

1 Peter 2:24; John 6:53, 19:34; Matthew 9:21, 26:28

Miracles do happen and I'm writing today to catalog a personal miracle, so I never forget that God does in fact miraculously heal people.

This morning, I'm trying to process that God has healed me. I want to be grateful for God being faithful, kind, gracious and merciful to me. To realize He in-fact is with me and calls me His own, therefor cares for me more than I care for myself.

Recently, I was diagnosed with chronic diseases that took 48 years of testing to name. Over that time, doctors chased other diseases where the symptoms mimicked what I have and when tests were inconclusive, I was dismissed and at worst called crazy.

What I have was not discovered by the medical community until the 1980's when researchers from the Mayo Clinic and the Cleveland Clinic worked together on patients with symptoms like mine. Twelve years ago, the medical community saw the groupings of diseases and gave it names. Last year, Olympian Katie Ledecky shared internationally that she has a form of Autonomic Dysfunction called Postural Orthostatic Tachycardia Syndrome (POTS). Due to Katie's admission, my doctors realized I could have the combination of diseases and still function and exercise like I do or did. Over the years, I had learned steps to manage the impacts of the diseases which allowed me a high level of functionality where many patients like me are unable to get out of bed.

In February 2025, I was diagnosed with Autonomic Dysfunction, Mast Cell Activation Syndrome and Ehlers Danlos Syndrome. In March, a test revealed Median Arcuate Ligament Syndrome (MALS). The AD-MCAS-EDS cannot be cured but the symptoms can be managed. MALS can be addressed through surgery, and I look forward to that step.

Somewhere around 2011, I began experiencing episodes of vertigo which were violent leaving me incapacitated for up to six months. On January 16, 2021, following a violent vertigo episode, chronic vertigo set in, and since then I have dealt with three forms of chronic vertigo for four-and-a-half years. It was not until February 2025 that doctors reluctantly agreed that the three forms of vertigo and the violent episodes were results of my chronic diseases.

Over the recent years, I can pinpoint to the areas of the brain that cause the three forms of vertigo. The cerebellum was the section of brain, inflammatory and physical pressure on various sections of the cerebellum and brain stem cause the spinning. Ehlers Danlos caused the inability to hold my head up during the violent spinning and likely cause the left side and back side vertigos when laying down. Autonomic dysfunction caused the spinning as I sat up from a laying position. Each form spun differently. No medications or physical therapy helped whatsoever, in fact the physical therapy made the symptoms worse.

During a test on March 11, 2025, to check suspected MALS, I was injected with iodine as the contrast solution. I felt the warm effects as the iodine circulated my system then my brain and, noticed it settled and stayed in my thyroid. Since I was diagnosed with hypothyroidism in August 2016, that effect of the iodine settling in my thyroid wasn't a shock to me but a confirmation. (I began telling doctors in 2011 that I think I have an issue with my thyroid. It took five years until one doctor agreed to test me and found out I was correct.)

The night of March 11, 2025, after the injection of iodine, I didn't spin when I laid down or sat up and, enjoyed being able to lay on my left side briefly. The effects of the iodine lasted seven days exactly after which, the three forms of vertigo resumed.

I told my doctors, and each said to experiment by taking iodine pills and so I began. 

Thinking the pills weren't strong enough, I ordered 2% and 10% iodine from two companies and began taking the 2% drops, two drops twice a day. Still no positive impacts.

A second CT scan was ordered so, I returned to the place where I was given iodine as a contrast hoping to receive another injection of iodine. On April 28, I was injected with that (glorious) iodine contrast and learned it was 74% iodine solution. Now I understood what my dose could be and once again, the chronic vertigo stopped for seven days.

This time, I switched to the 10% solution and began taking seven drops each morning and evening. The vertigo did return briefly on day seven following the injection but, on day 10 (May 30, 2025), the vertigo for laying on my back stopped.

This morning Saturday, May 17, 2025, as I woke twice early morning to stop leg cramps, I noticed the sitting up vertigo had stopped. I decided to experiment and lay on my left side. No spinning. None.

The three forms of chronic vertigo that began January 16, 2021, have stopped. Chronic vertigo that could not be diagnosed by traditional medicine and doctors, stopped. Chronic vertigo where some doctors were afraid of me saying patients like me scare them because they don't know what to do, stopped. Chronic vertigo where medicines and physical therapy and alternative medicines (like Chinese medicine which I tried) could not stop - stopped.

But GOD... 

But my God did heal me. But my God revealed to me what it was and what to do. But my God gave me the gift of healing that looked like the blood of His son shed for me.

Yes, God healed me!

As I took the iodine drops I marveled at the look, smell and taste. Each drop looked like blood dropping into the glass of water. The glass of iodine and water smelled and tasted like blood. Had I not made the mixture of iodine + water, I would have sworn I was drinking water mixed with blood.

And so, I proclaim today that God my Father, has been faithful, merciful, kind and gracious to me to lead me to discover an iodine deficiency, which caused the hypothyroidism, that coupled with EDS-MCAS-AD caused three forms of chronic vertigo, where each spun differently, as well as episodes of violent vertigo.

And the cure is drops of iodine in water that resemble the blood of Jesus Christ poured out to save me and all mankind. 

Today, I proclaim God healed me. I recognize that through a chemical that resembles blood, I was healed. God led me through-and-to this discovery where He was and is my physician. 

So Jesus said to them, "Truly, truly, I say to you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life." John 6:53 ESV

He Himself bore our sins in His body on the tree, that we might die to sin and live to righteousness. By His wounds you have been healed. 1 Peter 2:24 ESV

But one of the soldiers pierced His side with a spear, and at once there came out blood and water. John 19:34 ESV 

...for she said to herself, "If I only touch His garment, I will be made well." Matthew 9:21 ESV

"...for this is My blood of the covenant, which is poured out for many for the forgiveness of sins." Matthew 26:28 ESV

To Be

To Do or To Be... that is the question

Galatians 5:22-23    Mark 11:12-26    Philippians 4:8-9    Psalm 46:10    John 14-15    John 21:15-19    Deuteronomy 31:6    Hebrews 13:5    Matthew 28:20    Joshua 1:9    Luke 6:40    Romans 5:8    2 Peter 3:9    Esther 4:14

Many times, we think God calls us to do something for Him. As if we can please Him more, than what we are doing, can please Him. The argument in our heads sounds like, "Now that I am Christian, what is God's will for my life? Am I in His will or out of His will? What does God want me to do for Him?" As if we are earning something from Him by doing this thing for Him.

These arguments swirl around all our decisions in life. Do I buy this car? This house? Do I leave my job? Take this new job? Do I move to this state? This city? This side of town? Do I marry this person? Do I stay married? Stay single? Do we have children? How many? Do I homeschool my children? Put them in public or private school? Is it Christian based? Do I go on this mission trip? Which country? Do I serve on this team for church? Is being a greeter my right role? And on and on and on...

I am no different and have these arguments with myself and God regularly. And yet many times, God seems silent. He gives no indication as to the decisions we should make. No confirming word. No sign.

Then, we are left with trying to discern clues as to which way we think God is telling us to go. Which decision to make. What steps to take. In these situations, we are reverting back to a relationship where we are trying to earn God's approval and affection. 

And yet, God is calling us to something more intimate and simpler. He is calling us to just be with Him as He is being with us and then to be with others as He is being with us.

The entire Bible from Genesis 1:1 to Revelation 22:21 is about God revealing Himself to all creation and offering mankind a personal relationship with Him, to be with Him forever. Genesis 1 starts the revelation of God Himself and Revelation 22 ends with that revelation fulfilled for all eternity. To see Him. Hear Him. Love and live with Him. To walk, talk, and enjoy a loving relationship with the God of all creation. Like a father and child. Like a trusted friend. Like a beloved spouse.

What do we do, with these intimate relationships? We live with them. We do life. We be with them as they are being with us.

This is our inheritance.

Not streets of gold. Not mansions. Not being cured of death, disease, aging, injury, brokenness, etc. 

Just to be together.

Yes, we will be resurrected, healed, restored, reconciled, gifted. And we will see the magnificence of the Lord God and of His Kingdom Heaven and everything there. Yet, God is offering something more intimate to us. He is offering Himself and a relationship with Him for all eternity. That's a far better inheritance than a big house with a gold driveway, and a body that is perfect and never dies. 

If this is true, then we will see this offered-simplicity in the very life of Jesus with His followers and with His relationship with God, while on earth. If Jesus is God in a bod - God in a human body - and Jesus is the perfect human reflection of God, then we will see and hear Jesus convey what God is offering to us. 

Jesus used very simple language and examples to explain the Kingdom of God on earth as it is in Heaven. He used simple language to represent the intended relationship between mankind and Creator God. He called God Father and told us to call God Father. Jesus could have called the God of all creation, time and space, many names and yet Jesus calls God Father. That sets the relationship expectations.

Let's consider some of the language Jesus used to represent what our relationship is to be.

Follow me (walk with me)

Abide in me (stay close to me, connected to me, live with me)

Go and teach others what I taught you (as you go through life, share with others what I shared with you)

Forgive others as I forgave you

Help others

Make disciples (as you share you will make students, make followers)

Feed my sheep (feed my people)

I am with you always

These are all living-life-together sayings. These are ordinary, everyday actions. This is life lived together. In concert. Sharing and giving and living together. 

Jesus said this relationship is part of a journey - a process - where, as we walk and engage with Him, we will become like Him. Over time, we become like the teacher. (Luke 6:40) We don't surpass the teacher. We mimic the teacher. As a child mimics what a parent does and says. As we live with Jesus and He with us through His Spirit, we begin to reflect His character through what He shares and imparts to us. 

Of all creation, the birds of the air, the fish of the sea, and animals and beasts and all creeping things, the Triune God created mankind in His image - to reflect the Triune God as the moon reflects the sun. (Genesis 1: 26-28) The moon does not become the sun. Yet, the moon was created to reflect the sun, in order to be a light in the night sky. We are not becoming equal to God, nor will we ever. We reflect God and His character. We reflect the source of light. We reflect His character.

And how do we reflect God's character of which Jesus perfectly reflected? Through the power of God's Spirit of which He imparts to us when we accept His free offer of salvation. The gift of salvation that Jesus paid for with His life. A salvation from an eternal life lived without God and all God brings and restrains in humanity and in creation. Without God, there is chaos and death. With Him there is order and life.

How do we know God imparted His Spirit into us, when we turned from our selfish lives to accept God's gracious life? How do we know that God's Spirit is with us at all times? What evidence do we see that the Holy Spirit is with us, and we are reflecting Jesus; we are reflecting God?

When we see God's character fruiting through us. When we see the fruits of the Holy Spirit. When we see something beyond our ability happen through us while engaging in a circumstance. Some of those fruits are love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faithfulness, gentleness, and self-control. (Galatians 5:22-23) 

Think of it this way. Jesus said He is the vine - the true vine of God - and we are the branches on His vine. Branches don't cause fruit to happen. Branches hold the fruit that the vine produces through the essence of the vine flowing through the branches. As we stay connected to Jesus, as we walk along with Him learning from Him, He produces God's character through us, as a vine produces fruit.

The branches don't eat the fruit. The fruit does not last forever on the branch. The branches hold the fruit until someone picks it and enjoys the fruit. If we are a dead branch that does not produce fruit, God the vinedresser (John 15:1) will trim off that dead branch to ensure what killed the branch doesn't spread to the healthy branches. If a branch bears a lot of fruit, God prunes that branch to keep it healthy and actively producing.

God produces the fruit of His character through us, as evidence He is with us, and for others to consume. The Holy Spirit knows which fruit to produce based on the circumstances we enter into through our daily lives, so we bring God into the world in a nourishing way to bring transformation. Peace into turmoil. Joy into anxiety. Self-control into selfishness. Patience into justification and retribution. Love into hate and hurt. Kindness into moments when people attack you. Respect to the disrespectful. And on and on.  

For instance, when we encounter a chaotic situation where everything is out of control and yet we remain unexplainably ordered, chances are, the Holy Spirit fruited God's peace through us. When we are with someone unkind, hateful, selfish and we are justified to react equally yet, we show kindness to that person, the Holy Spirit fruited God's kindness through us. When we long to step into a promise of God or we see how we can control the situation for our benefit, and yet we wait on God and surrender our control, the Holy Spirit has fruited patience and self-control through us. (Patience will kill selfishness.) 

We read about these fruits of the Holy Spirit and believe they will be permanent abilities within our lives. Perhaps, one day in our journey they will be on this side of eternity. However, perhaps the Holy Spirit decides what fruit is needed, when and how the fruit will be produced in us for a time of need.

Because, while we were still sinners - still enemies of God - God showed us mercy, gentleness, kindness, love, and He exhibited self-control and patience allowing us to come to a saving knowledge of Him when He was justified to leave us in our sinful, selfish state. (Romans 5:8; 2 Peter 3:9)

So, who enjoys the fruit of the Holy Spirit that is produced through us by remaining connected to Jesus? Others. Those God puts into our paths. Those God puts in our lives. Those sheep God is calling. Those people God is revealing Himself to.

Jesus said the primary commandment of God is to love God fully, and love others like we love ourselves. When we love God, staying connected to Jesus, and His Spirit animates our lives to fruit God's character through us, that fruit is loving others. That fruit is feeding His sheep. That fruit is glorifying God.

This is how we be with God as He is being with us.

And so, we can do whatever we find ourselves doing. God uses us to bring the kingdom of God, to earth as it is in Heaven, as we be with God as He is being with us. Emmanuel. God with us.

It is enough to follow Jesus, learn and reflect Him, bringing Him into whatever space or circumstance we find ourselves in. Whatever person we are with. Allow the Holy Spirit to manifest God's presence in the world, through us. In a very intimate and personal way. Circumstance to circumstance. Person to person. 

People will see your good works - the fruit of God's character - and give glory to God (Matthew 5:16).

We will be lights because we are reflecting the source of light. We will be the salt, that holds the water of God (the Holy Spirit) into the body of Christ providing refreshment to a God-thirsty world.

We are the light. We are the salt. We are the branches. He is the true source of light. He is the true vine. He causes the fruit. He opens the eyes. He opens the ears. He replaces the heart of stone with a heart of flesh that responds to Him. He saved and is saving. He calls. He is being.

He is Yahweh. We are invited to be with Him, forever.

This gives us such freedom. Freedom to be and do whatever we find ourselves doing in terms of our occupation. We can be child, mother, father, grandparent, etc. We can work in ministry or industry. We can hold whatever position we have for our occupation from entry level to CEO. For we are who God created us to be. We are placed by God. We are gifted and equipped by God. His Spirit is with us fruiting through us, what we need, when we need it, to display God through us. As we bring God into our portion of the world, into our circumstances and to people in our lives. For a time such as now. (Esther 4:14)

And so, go. Live. Work. Be. Loving God fully and gratefully. Loving others out of gratitude for what God did for us, what He is doing for us and through us, as He is being with us. And we are being with Him. 

Go. Be. Do. 

++++++++++

Addendum:

As always, God reinforces what He teaches me following a lesson:

John Piper, Light + Truth, How God Speaks to Us

Neighbors with Ali Parsons, Episode 49: Just Start with Ben Williams

Joby Martin, 1 Timothy: A field Guide for the Family of God, week 10, God at Work

A journal entry I wrote for Chauncey in 2010: God Calls Business People to be Part of His Church

Waiting requires the fruit of the Holy Spirit - God's characteristics; in this case patience and self-control.

Marriage Reflects God's Identity

Genesis 1 through 3, Ephesians 5:22 through 5:33, Galatians 6:1-2, Malachi 2:15

Why marriage? Why did God create or institute marriage? What is the role of marriage aside from procreation; "Be fruitful and multiple and fill the earth and subdue it..." Genesis 1:28.

Marriage was actually initiated at Creation and before the Fall of Mankind; at the creation of everything we know and don't know; at the creation of everything we see and don't see, God created marriage. (Genesis 2:24.) God Himself spoke Creation into being, and scooped the freshly made soil of earth to form mankind, then kissed Adam breathing His Ruach of God's life into him* - His Spirit shared with mankind (Genesis 2:7). God inhales and breaths out of Himself and into Adam His Spirit - inhale “Yah,” exhale “Weh”; Yahweh, the name of God sounding like God breathing His Spirit into mankind. Adam awakens to face God as Father and Creator, a revelation of the Lord God. He knew God in an intimate way that we probably will not understand until we pass from this life to be present with God in a visible and tangible way. (*Quote from Joby Martin)

It's fascinating to see marriage present in the very first chapter of Torah, the Old Testament of the Bible. In the order of creation, following the creation of livestock, creeping things and beasts, Mankind is created on the sixth day. It's inferred that prior to God resting on the seventh day, creating a Sabbath rest to honor Himself and note His confidence in the completion of His creation, God created Mankind (male and female) and instituted marriage where marriage is a command from God to mankind ensuring man is not alone. 

When God created the birds of the air, the fish of the sea, livestock, creeping things and beasts of the earth (land), God said to His Triune Self, "Let Us create man (humankind) in Our image (likeness). And let them have dominion (kingly rule like God does over creation) over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens (skies) and over the livestock and over all the earth and over every creeping thing that creeps on the earth."

 

So God created man (mankind) in His own image (reflection),

in the image of God He created him;

male and female He created them.

 

And God blessed them. And God said to them, "Be fruitful and multiply and fill the earth and subdue it, and have dominion over the fish of the sea and over the birds of the heavens and over every living thing that moves on the earth." (Genesis 1: 26-28 ESV emphasis added by Rose)

 

In the Creation process and following, "It is not good for man to be alone," God created Woman from Man then presented Woman to Man declaring the unit is to cling to one another and become one flesh, living in such a way that they appear to be one unit. When God presents Eve to Adam, the image of the father presenting his daughter, the bride, to the bridegroom is seen. Understand what we see. God puts a sinless man - for Adam has yet to sin - into a deep sleep resembling death, wounds his side or takes half of his side, and from that substance out of man, God forms woman. God then raises the man from a sleep-like death, in the garden (paradise), and presents the woman to man, as a father presents his daughter the bride to the groom. This is a picture of the gospel, at the genesis of all creation, we see the foreshadow of Christ at the cross, His resurrection and His receiving His bride the church, in the creation of Man and Woman with the purpose of coupling in marriage and ruling earth. (Undaunted Life podcast clip; The Bible Project Q&A podcast)

This married unit created in the image of God is now reflecting God's Being on earth as God is in Heaven where God is Triune as, 1) God the Father, 2) God the Son, 3) God the Spirit. On earth at the genesis of the revelation of God there is, 1) mankind as male, 2) mankind as female, 3) the Spirit of God present and active within each person, giving life and joining them together as one flesh. Husband and wife joined together with the physical presence of God within them reflecting the Triune God Himself. (Malachi 2:15) This is why God said it is not good for man to be alone because He is not alone. God exists in three persons. Through the breathing of God's Holy Spirit into mankind, and the joining of husband and wife with the Spirit of God present, the three live as one being reflecting the Triune God.

Perhaps, the reason why marriage is so fiercely under attack by God’s enemy is because the act of marriage, the actions of a married couple, and the institution of marriage somehow represents the Triune God. Perhaps marriage is to represent the Triune God on earth as He is in Heaven. 

In Ephesians, Paul calls marriage a mystery as it represents Christ’s relationship to the church (Ephesians 5:32). For the relationship of Jesus Christ to the saved body of people from all eternity, a marriage is used to describe how Jesus relates to this body (the gathering, ecclesia, the church). As a husband and wife act towards one another in mutual submission of one's power to the other for the benefit of the other, the benefit of the union, the benefit of the family, this reflects how Jesus relates to His people the church. 

The act of submitting to one another in marriage, as Paul also describes, is the way the husband and wife mimic and reflect Christ as husband and the church as bride, which is about the act of being meeked to the other, by restraining the sinful tendencies to be self-centered. It is self-control by submission, a fruit of the Spirit.

Meek is a military horse term where a powerful horse was trained to accept the rider and his direction. The horse is bit-bridled now, under the direction of the rider. Upon being meeked, the horse is still a powerful horse, unafraid of battle, strong, ready to charge into battle at the shout of the command to go. However, the horse now submits to the rider's direction and command, so it charges into battle on command and under the direction of the rider. To be meek is strength under control. And so, a married couple is called to submit their power and abilities to the benefit of the other person in order to work together as a unit. We are to love and respect the gift of the other person as a like kind, power and nature as God created, identified and co-joined calling the union marriage. 

At the onset, marriage in creation was one man and one woman joined by the presence and infilling of the Holy Spirit. God had breathed His Spirit into Adam to put His life into mankind which is the revelation of God also called Light; the Spirit reveals God to mankind as well as being a life giving empowerment to the image bearer. 

Upon creating Woman as a like kind in nature and power yet, making her different though being complimentary (female to male), Woman was and still is a like kind in nature and power. With the physical presence of God's Spirit, this triune being represents God in trinity form with the unit's ability to operate, create, and fulfill its purpose of  "subdue the earth" and have "dominion over" created earth. The three together are a strengthened unit over the single being. This echoes what Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes  4:12 (NIV), "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Marriage was and is to be Man, Woman, God.

This tri-union states something profound about God and His relationship with Himself and us. It is compared to the intimate, loving, self-sacrificing relationship between husband and wife. Even the joy that comes with a sexual relationship was created by God. That fact will make you stop and ponder, considering how that sexual joy reflects the joy God enjoys as God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. He wanted us to experience that joy of united relationship and God's gift for that experience is sexual relationship within marriage. And from that joy the fruit of new life is created.

With all of these aspects of marriage it is no wonder why divorce, adultery, sexual perversion and promiscuity are an affront to God the Creator. We - mankind - are the only ones in all of Creation that were created in the image of God, filled with His Spirit with the command to replicate through physical union, subdue the earth and have authority over all created things on the earth. He created everything then created His dwelling on earth as it is in Heaven, to have a place to share with beings created in His image to enjoy an eternal relationship with the Creator Himself, within the Kingdom of the revealed God, His Kingdom of Light called Day. 

Yet, as God revealed Himself prior to creation then spoke everything into being with a Word of pure authority and truth, He knew mankind would sin and fall short of truly reflecting His being and purpose. We sin (syn), where an arrow shot misses the bullseye, we miss the mark of reflecting God in His perfection, to fulfill the very purpose for which humankind was created. Where God fulfills His purpose, each human is to fulfill his God given purpose as God endowed. (Be teleos as your heavenly Father is teleos. Matthew 5:48) And so He planned and launched the redemption of mankind. At that completion, He will recreate all of Creation to be void of being self-centered; void of a Kingdom of Self, which is the kingdom ruled by self called Darkness or Night. 

When we join together in marriage, one man with one woman, and invite God into that marriage as priority to the union's health and purpose, we enter into a union ordained by God - a unit purposed by God - and a union counter cultural to selfish mankind. This union is active in benefiting the marriage unit over self as iron sharpens iron, learning to be humble, restraining the desire of self (meek), to produce fruit and benefit the family of offspring and creation over self. 

This doesn’t happen overnight, it’s not easy and we married couples hurt our partner and our families deeply and multiple times. Yet, with God as active guide and present empowerment, we learn to love the other person for his/her benefit over ourselves. We learn to truly love as God loves, without condition or limit, also understanding that this marriage is a continuous work in progress. 

Marriage becomes a true working unit, a true friendship, with true intimacy and an enduring love that sustains through fierce trials. When sexual intimacy wains, the unit gives way to closeness in presence with words and actions of love and respect.

Marriage is the environment to grow closer to God and shape your life in ways you would never contemplate without marriage. 

It’s a beautiful gift when lived with God and with loving one another in a sacrificial way. We must understand our purpose as husband and wife and trust-in and rest-on God to continue to live as He created. 

How should Marriage have Worked before the Fall? 

Looking at Genesis 3, Ephesians 5:22 through 5:33 and Galatians 6:1-2

Many of us have read the story of the fall of mankind presented in Genesis chapter 3. It's an easy story to read and we think we understand the main outcome. However, have we ever read this sad chapter and asked ourselves and God, "How should Eve and Adam have acted in this situation with the serpent?" And for this exercise the question is, "How should the marriage have acted in this situation to prevent the fall of mankind?" What was God's intent for marriage? If marriage reflects the Triune God on earth as God is in Heaven, then how should the unit of Man + Woman + Holy Spirit have acted in this situation?

What is interesting in this entire dynamic, is that God gave created, living beings the gift of choice. We each have the choice to believe God at His very word and to trust fully in God and His abilities or not and choose to trust only in self. We have the choice to turn towards God and ask for His assistance and guidance or not. This is the crux of a right relationship with God.

In the situation of Genesis 3, there are three created, living things: the serpent, Woman and Man. For the purpose of this reasoning, we will eliminate the demonic possession of the serpent by God's enemy.

The serpent approaches the Woman and Man, in God's garden on earth, and twists God's words trying to overcome the couple through confusion. “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” (Gen. 3:1, emphasis added by Rose)

A quick comparison of God's actual words in Genesis 1:29 and 2:15-17 shows God saying, 

Genesis 1:29–30
[29] And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. [30] And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. (ESV)

Genesis 2:15–17
[15] The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. [16] And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, [17] but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (ESV)

According to the chronological order of the Genesis of Creation, God said His command in Genesis 2:15-17 prior to saying, "It is not good that man should be alone," thereby making Woman out of Man. So He commanded Adam to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then God created Woman.

Genesis chapter 1 is a broad overview of Creation which reflects God’s identity and glorifies Him. Genesis chapter 2 provides more detail in the relationship Man has with God, God's involvement of Man with the final details of His creation of earth and everything in it, and His purpose for mankind on earth.

However, reflecting back on chapter 1, it seems that all of creation was finished, all commands given to Man and Woman, for God rested on day seven establishing the Sabbath to honor Him and for His creation to enjoy the relationship established for each living thing with its Creator.

And so, Adam may have been the only one to hear the command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but, both Adam and Eve (as well as the creatures) were given the pleasure to enjoy all vegetation for food. Needless to say, if Adam was the only being to hear this exception command, he should have spoken with Eve concerning all God shared especially an action that led to death.

And so, we see the serpent approach both Woman, with Man standing by her, with a question that is false. Did God say you may not eat of any tree, when God said you may surely eat of every tree in the garden except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.

How should have the unit of Man + Woman acted in this scenario? How should they have discerned what was said to them? 

Paul gives us insight on how the husband and wife should (have) act(ed). In Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he specifically speaks to the working relationship of husband and wife as a unit, as each person's role to Christ and to the church. The word submit is used and many read the word with today's western context and not the context of the time the letter was written. 

According to Paul, the wife is to submit to her husband, as to the Lord or as the church submits to the Lord Jesus Christ. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. For the husband, Paul extorts the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word (John 15:3), so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.

It would actually be easier to read these exhortations in reverse to see the love become gratitude to serve the other for the benefit of the whole unit over only self benefit.

The husband is to stand as protector, between his wife and the threat to save her - his body - from attack. He then turns to face her to speak God's Word to her thereby washing her in truth to remove the lie spoken at her/over her/to her by the attacker. As Paul also writes in Galatians 6:1-2: Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual (with the Spirit) should restore him (her) in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ. 

Next and out of gratitude, the wife should yield her strength and ability to choose self over unit, to her husband and his benefit just as we the church yield ourselves to the benefit of the ecclesia and to God's glory. There are times when the woman can stand between attacker and her husband, when he is under threat, which defines her God-given name Ezer Kenegdo. Yet, for this exercise, we will stick to Paul's letter and Genesis 3.

When we compare Paul's words, for husbands and wives, to Genesis three's conversation between the serpent and the woman (with Adam quietly standing behind Eve), and compare Paul's words to the curse God pronounced on all three beings in Genesis 3:14-19, we see the failure of both Adam as husband and Eve as wife.

God says to Adam that he did not listen to His words He commanded Adam about the one and only tree to not eat fruit from, choosing to listen to his wife, Man shall now struggle with a fruitless life of toiling hard with little reward only to die and return to the dirt from which he was created (a reverse of creation). We see that God calls out Adam for not trusting God, for being selfish to remain silent during this subtle attack, to not protect his wife from the attacker by stepping between Eve and the serpent. And Adam failed to turn to face Eve to wash her with God's truth spoken to Adam. Eve will now experience pain in her role as life multiplier - childbirth - which is a fruitful experience, an act of creating. And she will desire her husband - she will desire to rule over her husband which caused her selfish act, and yet her husband will rule over her. In the act, both chose self over God and self over the other as part of the married union. 

Of particular note, neither Adam nor Eve stopped the conversation with the serpent to turn to God and ask Him His truth, which could have been and should have been their first action. After all, God is known to walk with both Man and Woman in His Garden on earth, enjoying relationship. His Spirit was alive and present in the relationship connecting man and woman together, and mankind with God in a tangible way. In this scenario, the Spirit of God allows Man and Woman to enjoy free choice with all of its benefits and consequences.

As a unit of like nature and power yet complimentary different, man and woman should have operated as one body. When Eve chose self over married unit, Adam should have stepped into her path to protect, correct and speak God's truth over her to bring her back into right relationship with him and God. (The reverse can be done as well. If Adam had stepped out of line, Eve could have done the same by yielding her strength to protect and benefit Adam and their union over Adam’s choice of self first.)

Sadly, we can only assume that both Eve through her actions and Adam through his non-actions, both vacating their God ordained purpose, chose the perception of selfish gain over their relationship with one another and with God, as individuals and as a married unit. And as we read Scripture, we see this pattern sadly repeated over and over again with the people in the Bible. The curse from Genesis 3 is played out time and again where the curse is a result of seeking self over the other person and self over God, rather than a punishment issued by God. 

Marriage is a Mystery Representing God's Identity

As we read about the coming of Jesus in the Old Testament, during His life on earth, and His future coming, we see the relationship of God with His saved people - His church - depicted as marriage. From the way Jesus saves and washes clean His bride, to the betrothal, the wedding ceremony and the establishment of the recreated Kingdom of God, we see marriage. 

Here are a few examples. Jesus launches His public ministry at a wedding (John 2:1-12). Some of His parables of the Kingdom of God use wedding ceremonies as examples (Matthew 9:14-15, 22:1-14, 25:1-13.) The woman’s lost coin was a bridal dowry coin, where a bride wore 10 coins worth a day’s wage each, in a headband (Luke 15:8-10). Solomon’s prophetic journal Song contains the intimacy of marriage while also depicting the arrival of himself (and prophetically King Jesus) as the bridegroom (Song of Solomon 3:6-11, 4:9). Jesus, explaining He is the way to God, uses wedding visuals (John 14:1-3). During the Passover, the third of four cups of wine is the Cup of Redemption; this is the last cup Jesus drank during His final Passover dinner; He seems to have negotiated the cost of the bride. The Cup of Redemption is presented to the bride once the bridegroom finishes negotiating the cost of the bride. The bridegroom brings the cup of wine and says, "This cup I offer you. In offering this, I offer you my life." The bride accepts the cup and marriage proposal, sips the wine and says, "I accept your life and in return give you mine." John the Baptist compares himself as the bridegroom's best man standing beside the bridegroom (Jesus) as he claims His bride (John 3:25-30). Prior to Jesus’s physical return to earth, His marriage to His bride the church is celebrated at the Wedding Supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:6-10). Finally, the arrival of Heaven on Earth for the recreated future depicts the new Jerusalem as the Bride adorned for her Husband Jesus (Revelation 21:1-2, 9-27, 17). 

As we read the Bible, we see marriage used and depicted all through Scripture where marriage somehow reflects the identify of God Himself and His relationship with mankind. Perhaps marriage is more significant than we realize, approach and treat it. I look forward to the day when we see the realization of what marriage should be; what marriage was created to be. 

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Addendum

October 16, 2024

While staying in Chicago for work, I listened to a 2012 sermon by Tim Keller, released as a Gospel in Life podcast on September 30, 2024. The podcast episode is entitled, "Marriage in Christ" and reinforced what God taught me about my purpose in Him, through marriage and His purpose of marriage. I am always amazed when God confirms what He taught me so I will know without a doubt that I did hear Him and He did teach me. He did share His truth with me.

Tim Keller's "Marriage in Christ"

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Notes of Interest 

Note: There were two trees in God's Garden on earth. The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God uses trees as testimonies to Himself and His character. There are olive trees that stand in His temple as a testimony to His supremacy and how He saved mankind for a people to Himself. Within the Garden of Eden - God's Garden on Earth - there are two trees placed by God; 1) the Tree of Life, and 2) the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. These trees are testimonies to the God of Creation. He gives abundant and eternal life. He has the knowledge of good and evil, and He has power over both. These trees in God's earthly garden, stand as testimony to God. According to Genesis chapters 1 and 2, if their fruits are consumed by mankind, the product of the tree is passed to mankind. 

Note: The curse pronounced over Adam in Genesis 3:17-19, speaks of a life that contains continued hard work for little fruit. The fruit of Adam's decision to choose self over God is thorns and thistle. The fruit of sin is hard work for little real fruit, with a majority of his work's produce being thorns, thistles (more thorns), death thereby returning to dust. When Jesus was crucified, His crown was made of thorns; His crown was made of the curse. Jesus embodied mankind's curse on the cross. His crown had to be made of thorns in order to kill sin, death and the curse, once and for all.

Look at what God does through You!

 “We want you to know, brothers, about the grace of God that has been given among the churches of Macedonia, for in a severe test of affliction, their abundance of joy and their extreme poverty have overflowed in a wealth of generosity on their part. For they gave according to their means, as I can testify, and beyond their means, of their own accord, begging us earnestly for the favor of taking part in the relief of the saints— and this, not as we expected, but they gave themselves first to the Lord and then by the will of God to us.”

‭‭2 Corinthians‬ ‭8‬:‭1‬-‭5‬ ‭ESV‬‬

The Macedonian’s gave eagerly out of an attitude of gratitude and God multiplied their giving like multiplying the loaves and fishes (Matthew 14:13-21). 

When we change our attitude (from self) to gratitude, God multiplies what we give back to Him. 

The Crushing

The series, The Crushing

1- top: Cup of Acceptance ~ The Drink Offering, October 2022

2 - bottom: Testimony ~ He's in the Waiting, May 2020

  

Two years in the completion. Several years in the thinking. Four years in the processing. Eleven years in the living. This series represents a very personal time in my life depicting my ever-growing relationship with the Lord God - Yahweh - God is three in One who is Father, Son and Spirit.

I've not completed artwork like this, in a very long time. Nor have I ever completed a series. My artwork is typically gifts for family and friends, depicting a specific subject matter as an expression of love for that person.

 

The Crushing series is my first time stepping into the realm of emotional art with symbolism composing the subject matter. In this case, the series is my journey with-God and because-of-God, that caused me to stop thinking about God one way and, consider Him as He says He is. It depicts a personal processing journey that began in 2013, which helped me process what I experienced and learned from 2011 to 2022. During that time my faith in God was shaken from its perception, to mature it further into more of His reality. It's a shared experience of following God and how I viewed Him which has propelled me into my next relationship phase. (It's a phase because God cannot mature me quickly as I cannot handle Him fully, yet.)

This series The Crushing is a pictorial of several journal entries where I reasoned with God, through the Scripture God used to speak to me along with commentary from family, friends, songs and messages from a variety of pastors. God would reason with me through His Word, mainly so I would stop thinking about Him in an immature way and consider Him as He is. He was growing me, pruning me, stretching me, testing me. And He allowed me to wrestle everything with Him, in very raw ways.

 

I felt crushed. Sacrificed. Poured out. Buried. And many times, wondering why God allowed me to be in lonely, dark places. I was heavily in Psalm 117 and 118 from 2013 to 2016, afterwards realizing that Jesus sang Psalm 118 while leaving the upper room on His final earthly Passover dinner, walking down and through the Kidron Valley, leading up to the Garden of Gethsemane on the Mount of Olives where He would achingly pray to Father God to remove the cup of God's wrath from His immediate future. For some reason, the Lord shared this Psalm with me, speaking to me through it, which now permeates my artwork in this series. 

 

After painting Testimony, I learned (or relearned) the meaning of the word Gethsemane, "where the olives are squeezed (for oil)" or "the crushing". Relearned because I had noted the meaning in my Bible one time earlier yet forgot that meaning. Now Gethsemane means something personal to me so, I won't forget it.

The Symbolism

Olives and grapes > two fruits are grown to be crushed for products used in worshiping the One True God; olives and grapes. Olives to produce the oil used for anointing, blessing, offerings, healing, lighting lamps and is an emblem for sovereignty. Grapes for wine used as offerings, consummating, celebrating and ceremonial symbolism with the primary symbol of the shed blood of Jesus.

Olive tree > a symbol of new beginnings, peace, reconciliation, wisdom, truce, anointing of the Holy Spirit, the two witnesses at the end (Revelation 11:4). In Zachariah 4, God uses olive tree symbols to speak to Zerubbabel and Joshua concerning not trusting in financial or military resources but to trust in the power of God's Holy Spirit. Olive trees are tough, equipped to handle drought, sub-zero temperatures, desert conditions, fire and are extraordinarily resilient, whose roots are so strong, they can regrow even when the tree seems completely dead. Olive trees are present within His eternal temple standing as testimony to who He is and how we view Him. 

“But I am like an olive tree flourishing in the house of God; I trust in God’s unfailing love for ever and ever. For what you have done I will always praise you in the presence of your faithful people. And I will hope in your name, for your name is good.”

‭‭Psalms‬ ‭52‬:‭8‬-‭9‬ ‭NIV‬‬

Grape vine > Jesus is said to be the vine and we His branches. In this painting, the vine is pruned in the Spur Pruning method, which I selected because it was symmetrical for the composition. Yet that method resembled the menorah in the tabernacle and temple, which is lit by olive oil. (I liked how the grape vine related visually to the olive tree.) A menorah has seven cups so this spur pruned vine has seven short arms with seven spurs coming off the two main cross arms forming the head of the vine also called a crown. There is so much symbolism in this representing Jesus and naturally, three clusters of grapes represent God in Trinity. Grape vines produce the best grapes for wine if they struggle while growing in volcanic, rocky soil instead of rich, earthy soils.

 

Snail > a snail is a pre-Byzantine symbol for someone who died and was planted (buried) into the ground like a seed. According to my friend who studies pre-Byzantine bone boxes, a snail was carved onto the side of the bone box to symbolize a seed because if a seed was carved it would look like a dot thereby not conveying the meaning desired. 

 

The olive and grape seeds > each seed represents a fruit that has died, was planted, sprouts, and has within it everything needed to grow into a fully fruiting tree or vine, now producing more fruit than the one seed (one fruit) it was previously. I once read that the last thing to produce on a fruit tree is the fruit so, this symbolism depicts a lifetime journey and a legacy one can enjoy through God's work within you.

 

The seed planted > The seed knows not what it will become or if anything is happening. All it sees is lonely darkness and isolation. It doesn't see the gardener working, removing rocks and weeds, tilling the soil, watering, guarding against pests, fungus and invasives. Meanwhile the gardener all along is working to provide the best environment for the seed to sprout, grown, mature and fruit... pruning inclusive. (He is in the waiting.)

 

Spilled glass of wine > a drink offering where you pour out to God a symbol of yourself surrendering fully to Him and His will.

 

The mountains > honestly, when I painted Testimony, I simply painted what seemed to be a representation of a Mediterranean or Middle Eastern olive grove. After naming the forthcoming series The Crushing, knowing I would paint a grape vine version, with Testimony hanging on my wall, I realized the scene resembled Gethsemane. That's when the meaning of Gethsemane was rediscovered. The meaning in my painting only came from God which perfectly fit the message. He truly led me to paint what I painted.

Journal Entry

This is the main post that spurred on the need to visually paint Crushing. It lists the other posts leading to this series. "A Word for Me... Redefined".

  

Artistic Influence

 

When I decided to paint Testimony, I wanted to push my style beyond my normal style of painting and illustration. Since 2015, I moved from impressionistic illustrations with oil pastels and began painting, or drawing with acrylic paints. My style has always been a post-impressionistic approach where I simply sketch out an idea and create allowing the artwork to evolve as necessary. I love Van Gogh's quote of, "I dream of painting then I paint my dreams," which represents how I approach art. Reflecting on my style, I realized I am more like the artists of the post-impressionistic period called fauvists. Vincent Van Gogh and Raoul Dufy (Due-fay) were fauvists while Claude Monet was an impressionist. I settled on Raoul Dufy because he drew quick scenes with his paint brush using bright colors - I love bright colors - and colors used were for emotion and not reality. 

Then in July 2022, Chauncey and I visited France for our first real vacation in four years. He booked tours to Claude Monet's home, Vincent Van Gogh's last residence, and we walked to the Museum of Modern Art Paris to see the Salle Dufy installation where his most recognized painting resides. This painting took 10 months to complete with assistants when Mr. Dufy was 60 years old - La Fée Électricité 1937. (I turned 60 this year.) The painting weighs 10 tons, with 1 ton of paint used and is the largest painting in the history of the world. To see this painting in person was mind blowing and something I will never forget; truly inspiring. Needless to say both Testimony and Cup of Acceptance are in the style of Raoul Dufy; Cup of Acceptance has a hint of Van Gogh and maybe a little Salvador Dali.

 

 

Rose & Raoul, Paris July 2022 (photo by Chauncey)

 

 Addendum November 19, 2022

Today while watching the “Extras” within the app for The Chosen, I came across this video about the Garden of Gethsemane and the olive grove. God doesn’t do coincidences; He confirms a message He is teaching!

Use the link to download the Angel app and watch The Chosen in Israel: The Garden from The Chosen

https://thechosen.app.link/ytSbi8Zn5ub