Genesis 1 through 3, Ephesians 5:22 through 5:33, Galatians 6:1-2
Why marriage? Why did God create or institute marriage? What is the role of marriage aside from procreation; "Be fruitful and multiple and fill the earth and subdue it..." Genesis 1:28.
Marriage was actually initiated at Creation and before the Fall of Mankind; at the creation of everything we know and don't know; at the creation of everything we see and don't see, God created marriage. (Genesis 2:24.) God Himself spoke Creation into being, and scooped the freshly made soil of earth to form mankind, then kissed Adam breathing His Ruach of God's life into him* - His Spirit shared with mankind (Genesis 2:7). God inhales and breaths out of Himself and into Adam His Spirit - inhale “Yah,” exhale “Weh”; Yahweh, the name of God sounding like God breathing His Spirit into mankind. Adam awakens to face God as Father and Creator, a revelation of the Lord God. He knew God in an intimate way that we probably will not understand until we pass from this life to be present with God in a visible and tangible way. (*Quote from Joby Martin)
It's fascinating to see marriage present in the very first chapter of Torah, the Old Testament of the Bible. In the order of creation, following the creation of livestock, creeping things and beasts, Mankind is created on the sixth day. It's inferred that prior to God resting on the seventh day, creating a Sabbath rest to honor Himself and note His confidence in the completion of His creation, God created Mankind (male and female) and instituted marriage where marriage is a command from God to mankind ensuring man is not alone.
This unit created in the image of God is now reflecting God's Being on earth as God is in Heaven where God is Triune as, 1) God the Father, 2) God the Son, 3) God the Spirit. On earth at the genesis of the revelation of God there is, 1) mankind as male, 2) mankind as female, 3) the Spirit of God present and active within each person, giving life and joining them together as one flesh. Husband and wife joined together with the physical presence of God within them reflecting the Triune God Himself. (Malachi 2:15) This is why God said it is not good for man to be alone because He is not alone. God exists in three persons. Through the breathing of God's Holy Spirit into mankind, and the joining of husband and wife with the Spirit of God present, the three live as one being reflecting the Triune God.
Perhaps, the reason why marriage is so fiercely under attack by God’s enemy is because the act of marriage, the actions of a married couple, and the institution of marriage somehow represents the Triune God. Perhaps marriage is to represent the Triune God on earth as He is in Heaven.
In Ephesians, Paul calls marriage a mystery as it represents Christ’s relationship to the church (Ephesians 5:32). For the relationship of Jesus Christ to the saved body of people from all eternity, a marriage is used to describe how Jesus relates to this body (the gathering, ecclesia, the church). As a husband and wife act towards one another in mutual submission of one's power to the other for the benefit of the other, the benefit of the union, the benefit of the family, this reflects how Jesus relates to His people the church.
The act of submitting to one another in marriage, as Paul also describes, is the way the husband and wife mimic and reflect Christ as husband and the church as bride, which is about the act of being meeked to the other, by restraining the sinful tendencies to be self-centered.
Meek is a military horse term where a powerful horse was trained to accept the rider and his direction. Upon being meeked, the horse is still a powerful horse, unafraid of battle, strong, ready to charge into battle at the shout of the command to go. However, the horse now submits to the rider's direction and command so it charges into battle on command and under the direction of the rider. To be meek is strength under control. And so, a married couple is called to submit their power and abilities to the benefit of the other person in order to work together as a unit. We are to love and respect the gift of the other person as a like kind, power and nature as God created, identified and co-joined calling the union marriage.
At the onset, marriage in creation was one man and one woman joined by the presence and infilling of the Holy Spirit. God had breathed His Spirit into Adam to put His life into mankind which is the revelation of God also called Light; the Spirit reveals God to mankind as well as being a life giving empowerment to the image bearer.
Upon creating Woman as a like kind in nature and power yet, making her different though being complimentary (female to male), Woman was and still is a like kind in nature and power. With the physical presence of God's Spirit, this triune being represents God in trinity form with the unit's ability to operate, create, and fulfill its purpose of "subdue the earth" and have "dominion over" created earth. The three together are a strengthened unit over the single being. This echoes what Solomon wrote in Ecclesiastes 4:12 (NIV), "A cord of three strands is not quickly broken." Marriage was and is to be Man, Woman, God.
This tri-union states something profound about God and His relationship with Himself and us. It is compared to the intimate, loving, self-sacrificing relationship between husband and wife. Even the joy that comes with a sexual relationship was created by God. That fact will make you stop and ponder, considering how that sexual joy reflects the joy God enjoys as God the Father, God the Son and God the Holy Spirit. He wanted us to experience that joy of united relationship and God's gift for that experience is sexual relationship within marriage. And from that joy the fruit of new life is created.
With all of these aspects of marriage it is no wonder why divorce, adultery, sexual perversion and promiscuity are an affront to God the Creator. We - mankind - are the only ones in all of Creation that were created in the image of God, filled with His Spirit with the command to replicate through physical union, subdue the earth and have authority over all created things on the earth. He created everything then created His dwelling on earth as it is in Heaven, to have a place to share with beings created in His image to enjoy an eternal relationship with the Creator Himself, within the Kingdom of the revealed God, His Kingdom of Light called Day.
Yet, as God revealed Himself prior to creation then spoke everything into being with a Word of pure authority and truth, He knew mankind would sin and fall short of truly reflecting His being and purpose. We sin (syn), where an arrow shot misses the bullseye, we miss the mark of reflecting God in His perfection, to fulfill the very purpose for which humankind was created. Where God fulfills His purpose, each human is to fulfill his God given purpose as God endowed. (Be teleos as your heavenly Father is teleos. Matthew 5:48) And so He planned and launched the redemption of mankind. At that completion, He will recreate all of Creation to be void of being self-centered; void of a Kingdom of Self, which is the kingdom ruled by self called Darkness or Night.
When we join together in marriage, one man with one woman, and invite God into that marriage as priority to the union's health and purpose, we enter into a union ordained by God - a unit purposed by God - and a union counter cultural to selfish mankind. This union is active in benefiting the marriage unit over self as iron sharpens iron, learning to be humble, restraining the desire of self (meek), to produce fruit and benefit the family of offspring and creation over self.
This doesn’t happen overnight, it’s not easy and we married couples hurt our partner and our families deeply and multiple times. Yet, with God as active guide and present empowerment, we learn to love the other person for his/her benefit over ourselves. We learn to truly love as God loves, without condition or limit, also understanding that this marriage is a continuous work in progress.
Marriage becomes a true working unit, a true friendship, with true intimacy and an enduring love that sustains through fierce trials. When sexual intimacy wains, the unit gives way to closeness in presence with words and actions of love and respect.
Marriage is the environment to grow closer to God and shape your life in ways you would never contemplate without marriage.
It’s a beautiful gift when lived with God and with loving one another in a sacrificial way. We must understand our purpose as husband and wife and trust-in and rest-on God to continue to live as He created.
How should Marriage have Worked before the Fall?
Looking at Genesis 3, Ephesians 5:22 through 5:33 and Galatians 6:1-2
Many of us have read the story of the fall of mankind presented in Genesis chapter 3. It's an easy story to read and we think we understand the main outcome. However, have we ever read this sad chapter and asked ourselves and God, "How should Eve and Adam have acted in this situation with the serpent?" And for this exercise the question is, "How should the marriage have acted in this situation to prevent the fall of mankind?" What was God's intent for marriage? If marriage reflects the Triune God on earth as God is in Heaven, then how should the unit of Man + Woman + Holy Spirit have acted in this situation?
What is interesting in this entire dynamic, is that God gave created, living beings the gift of choice. We each have the choice to believe God at His very word and to trust fully in God and His abilities or not and choose to trust only in self. We have the choice to turn towards God and ask for His assistance and guidance or not. This is the crux of a right relationship with God.
In the situation of Genesis 3, there are three created, living things: the serpent, Woman and Man. For the purpose of this reasoning, we will eliminate the demonic possession of the serpent by God's enemy.
The serpent approaches the Woman and Man, in God's garden on earth, and twists God's words trying to overcome the couple through confusion. “Did God actually say, ‘You shall not eat of any tree in the garden’?” (Gen. 3:1, emphasis added by Rose)
A quick comparison of God's actual words in Genesis 1:29 and 2:15-17 shows God saying,
Genesis 1:29–30
[29] And God said, “Behold, I have given you every plant yielding seed that is on the face of all the earth, and every tree with seed in its fruit. You shall have them for food. [30] And to every beast of the earth and to every bird of the heavens and to everything that creeps on the earth, everything that has the breath of life, I have given every green plant for food.” And it was so. (ESV)
Genesis 2:15–17
[15] The LORD God took the man and put him in the garden of Eden to work it and keep it. [16] And the LORD God commanded the man, saying, “You may surely eat of every tree of the garden, [17] but of the tree of the knowledge of good and evil you shall not eat, for in the day that you eat of it you shall surely die.” (ESV)
According to the chronological order of the Genesis of Creation, God said His command in Genesis 2:15-17 prior to saying, "It is not good that man should be alone," thereby making Woman out of Man. So He commanded Adam to not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, then God created Woman.
Genesis chapter 1 is a broad overview of Creation which reflects God’s identity and glorifies Him. Genesis chapter 2 provides more detail in the relationship Man has with God, God's involvement of Man with the final details of His creation of earth and everything in it, and His purpose for mankind on earth.
However, reflecting back on chapter 1, it seems that all of creation was finished, all commands given to Man and Woman, for God rested on day seven establishing the Sabbath to honor Him and for His creation to enjoy the relationship established for each living thing with its Creator.
And so, Adam may have been the only one to hear the command not to eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil but, both Adam and Eve (as well as the creatures) were given the pleasure to enjoy all vegetation for food. Needless to say, if Adam was the only being to hear this exception command, he should have spoken with Eve concerning all God shared especially an action that led to death.
And so, we see the serpent approach both Woman, with Man standing by her, with a question that is false. Did God say you may not eat of any tree, when God said you may surely eat of every tree in the garden except for the tree of the knowledge of good and evil.
How should have the unit of Man + Woman acted in this scenario? How should they have discerned what was said to them?
Paul gives us insight on how the husband and wife should (have) act(ed). In Paul's letter to the Ephesians, he specifically speaks to the working relationship of husband and wife as a unit, as each person's role to Christ and to the church. The word submit is used and many read the word with today's western context and not the context of the time the letter was written.
According to Paul, the wife is to submit to her husband, as to the Lord or as the church submits to the Lord Jesus Christ. For the husband is the head of the wife even as Christ is the head of the church, his body, and is himself its Savior. For the husband, Paul extorts the husband to love his wife as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her, that he might sanctify her, having cleansed her by the washing of water with the word (John 15:3), so that he might present the church to himself in splendor, without spot or wrinkle or any such thing, that she might be holy and without blemish.
It would actually be easier to read these exhortations in reverse to see the love become gratitude to serve the other for the benefit of the whole unit over only self benefit.
The husband is to stand as protector, between his wife and the threat to save her - his body - from attack. He then turns to face her to speak God's Word to her thereby washing her in truth to remove the lie spoken at her/over her/to her by the attacker. As Paul also writes in Galatians 6:1-2: Brothers, if anyone is caught in any transgression, you who are spiritual (with the Spirit) should restore him (her) in a spirit of gentleness. Keep watch on yourself, lest you be tempted. Bear one another’s burdens, and so fulfill the law of Christ.
Next and out of gratitude, the wife should yield her strength and ability to choose self over unit, to her husband and his benefit just as we the church yield ourselves to the benefit of the ecclesia and to God's glory. There are times when the woman can stand between attacker and her husband, when he is under threat, which defines her God-given name Ezer Kenegdo. Yet, for this exercise, we will stick to Paul's letter and Genesis 3.
When we compare Paul's words, for husbands and wives, to Genesis three's conversation between the serpent and the woman (with Adam quietly standing behind Eve), and compare Paul's words to the curse God pronounced on all three beings in Genesis 3:14-19, we see the failure of both Adam as husband and Eve as wife.
God says to Adam that he did not listen to His words He commanded Adam about the one and only tree to not eat fruit from, choosing to listen to his wife, Man shall now struggle with a fruitless life of toiling hard with little reward only to die and return to the dirt from which he was created (a reverse of creation). We see that God calls out Adam for not trusting God, for being selfish to remain silent during this subtle attack, to not protect his wife from the attacker by stepping between Eve and the serpent. And Adam failed to turn to face Eve to wash her with God's truth spoken to Adam. Eve will now experience pain in her role as life multiplier - childbirth - which is a fruitful experience, an act of creating. And she will desire her husband - she will desire to rule over her husband which caused her selfish act, and yet her husband will rule over her. In the act, both chose self over God and self over the other as part of the married union.
Of particular note, neither Adam nor Eve stopped the conversation with the serpent to turn to God and ask Him His truth, which could have been and should have been their first action. After all, God is known to walk with both Man and Woman in His Garden on earth, enjoying relationship. His Spirit was alive and present in the relationship connecting man and woman together, and mankind with God in a tangible way. In this scenario, the Spirit of God allows Man and Woman to enjoy free choice with all of its benefits and consequences.
As a unit of like nature and power yet complimentary different, man and woman should have operated as one body. When Eve chose self over married unit, Adam should have stepped into her path to protect, correct and speak God's truth over her to bring her back into right relationship with him and God. (The reverse can be done as well. If Adam had stepped out of line, Eve could have done the same by yielding her strength to protect and benefit Adam and their union over Adam’s choice of self first.)
Sadly, we can only assume that both Eve through her actions and Adam through his non-actions, both vacating their God ordained purpose, chose the perception of selfish gain over their relationship with one another and with God, as individuals and as a married unit. And as we read Scripture, we see this pattern sadly repeated over and over again with the people in the Bible. The curse from Genesis 3 is played out time and again where the curse is a result of seeking self over the other person and self over God, rather than a punishment issued by God.
Marriage is a Mystery Representing God's Identity
As we read about the coming of Jesus in the Old Testament, during His life on earth, and His future coming, we see the relationship of God with His saved people - His church - depicted as marriage. From the way Jesus saves and washes clean His bride, to the betrothal, the wedding ceremony and the establishment of the recreated Kingdom of God, we see marriage.
Here are a few examples. Jesus launches His public ministry at a wedding (John 2:1-12). Some of His parables of the Kingdom of God use wedding ceremonies as examples (Matthew 9:14-15, 22:1-14, 25:1-13.) The woman’s lost coin was a bridal dowry coin, where a bride wore 10 coins worth a day’s wage each, in a headband (Luke 15:8-10). Solomon’s prophetic journal Song contains the intimacy of marriage while also depicting the arrival of himself (and King Jesus) as the Bridegroom (Song of Solomon 3:6-11, 4:9). Jesus explaining He is the way to God uses wedding visuals (John 14:1-3). Prior to Jesus’s physical return to earth, His marriage to His bride the church is celebrated as the Wedding Supper of the Lamb (Revelation 19:6-10). And the arrival of Heaven on Earth for the recreated future depicts the new Jerusalem as the Bride adorned for her Husband Jesus (Revelation 21:1-2, 9-27, 17). Finally, John the Baptist compares himself as the bridegroom's best man standing beside the Bridegroom (Jesus) as he claims His bride. (John 3:25-30)
As we read the Bible, we see marriage used and depicted all through Scripture where marriage somehow reflects the identify of God Himself and His relationship with mankind. Perhaps marriage is more significant than we realize, approach and treat it. I look forward to the day when we see the realization of what marriage should be.
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Addendum
October 16, 2024
While staying in Chicago for work, I listened to a 2012 sermon by Tim Keller, released as a Gospel in Life podcast on September 30, 2024. The podcast episode is entitled, "Marriage in Christ" and reinforced what God taught me about my purpose in Him, through marriage and His purpose of marriage. I am always amazed when God confirms what He taught me so I will know without a doubt that I did hear Him and He did teach me. He did share His truth with me.
Tim Keller's "Marriage in Christ"
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Notes of Interest
Note: There were two trees in God's Garden on earth. The tree of life and the tree of the knowledge of good and evil. God uses trees as testimonies to Himself and His character. There are olive trees that stand in His temple as a testimony to His supremacy and how He saved mankind for a people to Himself. Within the Garden of Eden - God's Garden on Earth - there are two trees placed by God; 1) the Tree of Life, and 2) the Tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil. These trees are testimonies to the God of Creation. He gives abundant and eternal life. He has the knowledge of good and evil, and He has power over both. These trees in God's earthly garden, stand as testimony to God. According to Genesis chapters 1 and 2, if their fruits are consumed by mankind, the product of the tree is passed to mankind.
Note: The curse pronounced over Adam in Genesis 3:17-19, speaks of a life that contains continued hard work for little fruit. The fruit of Adam's decision to choose self over God is thorns and thistle. The fruit of sin is hard work for little real fruit, with a majority of his work's produce being thorns, thistles (more thorns), death thereby returning to dust. When Jesus was crucified, His crown was made of thorns; His crown was made of the curse. Jesus embodied mankind's curse on the cross. His crown had to be made of thorns in order to kill sin, death and the curse, once and for all.
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